{"id":650,"date":"2004-12-01T09:42:26","date_gmt":"2004-12-01T09:42:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lewisdartnell.com\/en-gb\/?p=650"},"modified":"2004-12-01T09:42:26","modified_gmt":"2004-12-01T09:42:26","slug":"a-toast-based-argument-for-a-malevolent-god","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/lewisdartnell.com\/en-gb\/2004\/12\/a-toast-based-argument-for-a-malevolent-god\/","title":{"rendered":"A Toast-based argument for a malevolent God"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"toast\"<\/a>We’ve all experienced it. It’s Monday morning, you’ve slept through your alarm and are now in a hopeless rush to get in on time. The toast comes out of the toaster, you give it a quick sweep of butter, or in these more health-conscious times, margarine, and pick it up to take over to your newspaper on the kitchen table. And then it happens. Whether it simply slips out of your fingers, or it burns slightly and you subconsciously release it, the toast begins to drop towards the filthy floor. You watch in dismay as the toast falls, neatly performing a half-turn and landing flat on the floor, butter-side down in the grime. You don’t even know why you tentatively hoped for the toast to land otherwise – the Universe seems out to get you as far as free falling toast is concerned.
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\nWell, in fact it is. The butterside-down eventuality is the inevitable outcome due to a specific combination of parameters concerned with the dimensions of humans, and ultimately the fundamental structure of the universe. This argument-by-design, therefore, not only conclusively demonstrates the existence of the Creator, but additionally that he is a cantankerous old blighter who organised the Universe in this way to continually torment us with dirty toast.<\/p>\n

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